Hiring a private nanny, governess or tutor: what families should clarify first

Why the brief matters before the search begins

Hiring a private nanny, governess or tutor is rarely a simple CV exercise. The best placements begin with a carefully considered brief that explains not only the duties, but the rhythm of the household, the children’s personalities, parental expectations, travel patterns, educational priorities and the degree of autonomy required.

Families often start by asking for someone experienced, discreet and flexible. Those qualities matter, but they are not precise enough to produce a strong shortlist. A nanny who thrives in a warm, informal household may not be right for a highly structured rota role. A governess who is excellent academically may not be suited to a role that also requires nursery duties, travel packing and close collaboration with house staff.

At Leaman Consulting, we encourage families to think beyond the job title. The question is not simply whether you need a nanny, governess or tutor; it is what kind of person will genuinely succeed inside your family environment.

Define the role around the child, not just the title

A private nanny usually focuses on day-to-day care, routines, development, nursery duties, meals, activities and emotional continuity. A governess is often more education-led, supporting academic development, etiquette, language learning, homework, school liaison and cultural enrichment. A tutor may be more targeted, helping with exams, specialist subjects, school transitions or short-term educational goals.

Many private family roles blend these responsibilities. That is why clarity is essential. Before approaching candidates, decide whether the role is primarily childcare, education, travel support, family assistance, proxy parenting, rota cover or a combination of these areas. If the brief is mixed, explain the weighting honestly.

The practical details candidates need to understand

Strong candidates will want to understand the realities of the appointment before they commit to an interview or trial.

• Children’s ages, routines, personalities, schools and developmental needs.
• Expected working hours, flexibility, weekends, travel and overnight care.
• Live-in or live-out arrangements, accommodation, transport and privacy.
• Nursery duties, cooking, laundry, wardrobe care and family admin.
• Reporting lines, parental involvement and collaboration with other household staff.
• Languages, education support, SEN experience or formal qualifications required.
• Trial expectations, notice periods, references and safeguarding checks.

The more accurate the information, the stronger the shortlist. Private childcare candidates often make decisions based on nuance: how parents communicate, how much autonomy is offered, whether travel is frequent, how boundaries are handled and whether the family’s expectations feel realistic.

Assessing fit, discretion and judgement

Experience matters, but long-term fit is usually shaped by judgement, emotional intelligence and communication style. A trusted childcare professional may have access to children, travel plans, private residences and sensitive family information. They need to understand discretion without becoming distant, and boundaries without feeling rigid.

During interview, explore examples rather than asking generic questions. Ask how the candidate handled a difficult handover, supported a child through change, worked with a parent whose style differed from their own, or managed confidentiality in a previous private household. Their answers will reveal far more than a list of duties.

How Leaman Consulting supports private families

Margaux Lemoine brings first-hand nanny experience as well as specialist recruitment expertise. That combination helps families define roles realistically and assess whether a candidate can settle into the practical and emotional world of a private household.

Leaman Consulting supports the search from brief creation and market advice through to shortlisting, interview guidance, referencing and post-placement support. The aim is not to fill a vacancy quickly; it is to make an introduction that feels considered, discreet and sustainable.