How to Interview a Nanny: The Questions Parents Should Ask

Finding a nanny who looks right on paper is one thing. Working out whether they are the right person to care for your child is another.

For many parents, particularly those hiring a nanny for the first time, the interview can feel surprisingly difficult. You are making a professional hire, but you are also choosing someone who may spend a significant amount of time in your home, become an important part of your child's life and, ultimately, be trusted with their well-being.

The best nanny interviews therefore shouldn't feel like an interrogation or a checklist of 50 questions. They should be a conversation that helps you understand three things: can this person do the job, do their approach and values align with yours, and could you build a trusting working relationship together?

Before moving into childcare recruitment, I spent more than 15 years working as a nanny myself. Having experienced the hiring process from both sides, one thing I have learned is that the strongest nanny placements are rarely based on experience alone.

Experience matters enormously, of course. But so do judgement, communication, expectations and the relationship between nanny and parents.

So, what should you actually ask?

1. Start by understanding their experience

A nanny's CV tells you where they have worked and for how long. The interview should tell you what that experience actually looked like.

Try asking:

• Tell me about the children you have cared for previously.
• Which ages do you have the most experience with?
• What did a typical day look like in your last position?
• What responsibilities did you have?
• What did you enjoy most about the role?
• Why did the position come to an end?

Don't simply look for a matching age on a CV.

Two nannies may both have several years' experience caring for babies, for example, but their roles could have been completely different. One may have worked alongside a parent throughout the day, while another had sole charge for 12 hours, managed weaning and sleep routines, organised classes and appointments and travelled internationally with the family.

Neither is necessarily better. The important question is whether their experience matches what your family actually needs.

2. Ask what they would actually do with your child

Rather than asking only general questions such as "What activities do you like doing with children?", make the conversation specific to your family.

If you have an 18-month-old, for example, you could ask:

"If you were looking after our child for the day, what might you plan?"

This can tell you far more than asking someone to describe their childcare philosophy.

You may hear them talk about getting outside, attending local classes, reading together, encouraging independent play, preparing meals or adapting the day around naps.

There isn't one perfect answer.

What you are looking for is whether they understand your child's developmental stage and can confidently create an appropriate, enjoyable day rather than simply following instructions.

3. Use real-life scenarios

Some of the most useful nanny interview questions begin with:

"What would you do if...?"

For example:

• What would you do if my toddler had a tantrum while you were out?
• How would you handle a child refusing to eat their lunch?
• What would you do if my child became unwell during the day?
• How would you manage two siblings who were arguing?
• What would you do if you disagreed with a parenting decision we had made?

Scenario questions help you understand how someone thinks rather than how well they have prepared for an interview.

For older children, adapt the scenarios accordingly. You might discuss homework, screen time, friendships, boundaries or after-school routines.

For babies, you may want to explore feeding, sleep, weaning, developmental milestones and how the nanny would respond to an unsettled baby.

4. Talk about your parenting style

One of the most important parts of a successful nanny relationship is consistency.

Your nanny doesn't need to have exactly the same personality as you, but there should be broad alignment around how your children are cared for.

Talk openly about your approach to things such as:

• routines and structure;
• boundaries and discipline;
• screen time;
• food and mealtimes;
• sleep;
• independence;
• activities and education.

Then ask the nanny how they would approach those areas.

This is particularly important when a nanny has many years of experience. A highly experienced nanny will naturally bring their own ideas and professional judgement to a role, which can be incredibly valuable.

The question is whether you are comfortable having those conversations with each other.

5. Ask about difficult situations, not just successful ones

One of my favourite areas to explore when interviewing candidates is how they have handled situations that didn't go perfectly.

Try asking:

"Tell me about a challenging situation you've had with a child or family and how you handled it."

You are not looking for someone who claims they have never had a difficult day.

Childcare involves tantrums, illnesses, changing routines, tired children, tired parents and unexpected situations.

A thoughtful answer can tell you a great deal about someone's judgement, patience and ability to communicate.

You can also ask:

"Have you ever disagreed with a parent about something relating to the children? How did you handle it?"

The answer isn't necessarily a red flag. In fact, it can demonstrate whether someone knows how to raise a concern professionally while ultimately respecting the parents' decisions.

6. Find out how they communicate with parents

A nanny may spend more waking hours with your child during the working week than you do. Good communication is therefore incredibly important.

Ask how they have communicated with previous employers.

Some families like regular messages, photographs and updates throughout the day. Others prefer a brief handover in the evening. Some use a shared diary or app.

There isn't a correct system, but agreeing expectations from the beginning can prevent misunderstandings later.

You might ask:

"If you were concerned about something relating to our child, how would you raise it with us?"

A good nanny should feel comfortable communicating openly with you, and you should feel equally comfortable speaking with them.

7. Discuss the reality of the job

This is where families sometimes get caught out.

Be completely transparent about what the role actually involves.

Discuss:

• normal working hours;
• occasional late finishes;
• babysitting;
• travel;
• school holidays;
• driving;
• cooking for the children;
• nursery duties;
• pets;
• proxy parenting, if applicable;
• any additional responsibilities.

If you regularly need flexibility, say so.

If you travel for several weeks each year and expect your nanny to accompany you, explain what that normally looks like.

If grandparents are frequently in the house or one parent works from home, mention it.

It is far better to discover during the interview that something doesn't work for a candidate than three months into the job.

8. Ask what they are looking for in a family

Parents understandably spend a lot of the interview thinking:

"Do we like this nanny?"

But there is another equally important question:

"Will this nanny be happy working for us?"

Ask:

"What are you looking for in your next family?"

Their answer can be extremely revealing.

They might value autonomy, good communication, longevity, travel opportunities or working closely alongside parents.

A successful nanny placement needs to work for both sides. When expectations align from the beginning, the relationship has a much stronger foundation.

What should parents look for during a nanny interview?

Listen to the answers, but also pay attention to the conversation as a whole.

Does the nanny speak warmly and respectfully about previous children and employers?

Can they give specific examples rather than vague answers?

Do they seem comfortable discussing difficult situations?

Do they ask questions about your child?

That last point is particularly important.

I like candidates who are curious about the family they may be joining.

They might ask what your child enjoys, what their routine is like, how they sleep, what makes them laugh, whether they attend nursery, what you are finding difficult at the moment or what you would like your nanny's help with.

An interview should be two-way.

What are the red flags when interviewing a nanny?

There isn't one universal list of nanny interview red flags, and parents should be careful not to confuse nerves with a lack of ability.

However, there are things worth exploring further.

Be cautious if a candidate cannot clearly explain significant parts of their employment history, is consistently negative about previous families, gives very different information from their CV, is unwilling to provide appropriate references or struggles to give examples of how they have handled everyday childcare situations.

Also pay attention to whether their expectations genuinely match yours.

Someone can be an excellent nanny and still be completely wrong for your particular role.

That isn't a failed interview. It is exactly what the interview process is designed to establish.

Should your children meet the nanny?

Yes. Once you have identified a candidate you are seriously considering, I would normally recommend giving them an opportunity to meet your child.

But don't expect an instant magical connection.

Some children are naturally shy around new people. Babies may be experiencing separation anxiety. Toddlers may simply decide that today isn't the day they want to make a new friend.

Instead of looking for your child's immediate approval, watch how the nanny responds.

Do they get down to the child's level? Do they give them space rather than forcing interaction? Do they notice what the child is playing with and naturally engage with it?

Those small interactions can tell you a great deal.

Should you arrange a nanny trial?

Where possible, I am a big advocate of a paid nanny trial before making a final decision.

An interview tells you how someone talks about childcare. A trial allows you to see them doing it.

It doesn't necessarily need to be a full working week. Depending on the role, a few hours or a day may be enough to give both sides a better sense of whether the arrangement feels right.

During the trial, try not to manufacture tests.

Allow the nanny to experience a relatively normal part of your child's day.

You can observe how they communicate, whether they take initiative, how comfortable your child becomes around them and how naturally the nanny fits into your household.

Remember that the nanny is also using the trial to decide whether the role is right for them.

An interview is only one part of hiring a nanny

Even if you have a fantastic interview, don't skip the proper checks.

Before a nanny starts work, families should make sure the appropriate vetting has been completed. Depending on the role and location, this may include identity and right-to-work checks, employment references, an appropriate DBS or criminal-record check and verification of relevant qualifications such as Paediatric First Aid.

References are particularly valuable.

Rather than simply confirming dates of employment, a thorough reference conversation can help establish what the nanny was responsible for, their reliability, relationship with the children, communication style and why the employment ended.

For UK employment, parents should also understand their responsibilities as an employer, including contracts, payroll, tax, National Insurance and, where applicable, workplace pension obligations.

The best nanny interview should feel like a conversation

Ultimately, hiring a nanny is about much more than finding the candidate with the longest CV.

You are looking for someone with the right experience and judgement, but also someone you can communicate with, trust and welcome into your family's everyday life.

Prepare your questions, certainly. But don't become so focused on getting through your list that you forget to have a conversation.

Some of the most useful information often comes from the follow-up question you hadn't planned to ask.

At Leaman Consulting, we work closely with families to understand not only the experience they require, but the personalities, working styles and expectations that will make a placement successful long-term.

Our Childcare & Education consultant carefully interviews and vets candidates before introducing them to our clients, helping families navigate the process from defining the role and interviewing through to trials, references and the final hire.

If you are considering hiring a nanny in London, elsewhere in the UK or internationally, speak to our Childcare & Education team about your requirements.