Going Back to Work After Parental Leave: How to Choose the Right Childcare

Going back to work after maternity, paternity, or shared parental leave is a big transition. For many first-time parents, one of the biggest questions is also one of the most practical: what are we going to do about childcare?

Nursery, nanny, childminder, nanny share, grandparents, or a combination of several options, there is no single answer that works for every family.

Before moving into nanny recruitment, I worked as a professional nanny for 15 years, caring for children from babyhood through to school age. I have been on the other side of that first day back at work many times: taking over from a parent after months at home with their baby, helping a child settle into a new routine and working out how childcare fits around two busy careers.

Now, as a nanny consultant, I speak to parents going through exactly the same process.

My advice is always to start with your family and your real working life, rather than what you think you are supposed to do.

When should you start thinking about childcare?

Earlier than you might think.

Good nurseries can have waiting lists, childminders may have limited availability, and finding a nanny who is genuinely right for your family can take time.

If you know roughly when you are returning to work, start working backwards from that date. You don't necessarily need to have everything finalised months in advance, but giving yourself time means you can make a considered decision rather than choosing whatever happens to be available.

I also wouldn't recommend making your first day back at work your child's first full day with their new childcare.

We often associate settling-in sessions with nursery, but they can be just as valuable when employing a nanny.

Settling in with a nanny before you return to work

One of my own nanny roles is a good example of this.

I was finishing a long-term position with a family I had worked with for seven years. By that point, both children were at school full-time, which gave me some availability during the day.

My next role was caring for a six-month-old little girl whose mum was preparing to return to work. Rather than waiting until my official start date and suddenly handing over the baby for an entire day, we used some of that time beforehand to get to know one another.

Initially, the three of us would go for walks together. Mum was there, but the baby was gradually getting used to my voice, my face and having me around. We then progressed to me spending time alone with her and taking over more of her care.

By the time her mum actually returned to work, I wasn't a stranger arriving at the door on her first morning back. We had already started building our own relationship.

It also meant Mum could begin getting used to being away from her baby before having to combine that separation with her first day back at work.

Every child is different, and you don't necessarily need weeks of settling in, but even a few shorter sessions can make that transition feel much more natural for everyone.

Start with what your working week actually looks like

Before deciding which type of childcare you want, sit down and look honestly at your week.

What time do you actually need to leave home? How long is your commute? What time can you realistically collect your child? Do you work from home some days? Does one parent have more flexibility than the other? Do you travel? What happens when a meeting overruns?

This is particularly important for parents working in professions such as law, finance, medicine and consulting, or running their own businesses.

A nursery that closes at 6pm might sound completely manageable until you realise that neither parent can reliably leave work at 5pm.

Similarly, you may initially assume you need a full-time nanny, only to realise that a combination of nursery and a part-time nanny works much better.

Build your childcare around your real week, not your ideal week.

Nursery

Nursery is the natural starting point for many families and can be a fantastic childcare option.

Your child is cared for in a structured environment, surrounded by other children, with activities, routines and opportunities for socialisation. For parents with fairly predictable working hours, particularly if there is a good nursery close to home, it can work extremely well.

It can also be considerably less expensive than employing a full-time nanny.

The main consideration is flexibility.

Nurseries operate set hours, so somebody needs to manage drop-off and collection. You'll also need to understand their policies around illness, holidays and closures and think about what you would do if your child couldn't attend.

None of these are necessarily reasons not to choose nursery. They're simply things I encourage parents to think about before committing.

Hiring a nanny

A nanny provides childcare in your own home and usually works exclusively for your family.

For many working parents, the biggest advantage is flexibility.

Instead of getting a baby or toddler fed, dressed and out of the door before beginning your own commute, your nanny can arrive at your home and take over from you.

Depending on the role, a nanny might organise classes and activities, prepare children's meals, manage naps, take care of nursery duties and laundry, arrange playdates and support your child's development.

For babies and younger children, some parents particularly value the consistency of having one person caring for their child in their own home.

A nanny can also become increasingly cost-effective if you have more than one child, because you are employing the nanny for their time rather than paying separately for multiple childcare places.

Of course, it is a significant financial commitment, and becoming a nanny employer also comes with responsibilities. The true cost isn't simply the nanny's hourly rate; you also need to consider employment costs such as National Insurance, pension contributions and payroll.

For families whose careers involve long hours, commuting or changing schedules, however, the flexibility can be invaluable.

Could a nanny share work for you?

This is one childcare option that I think more parents should know about, particularly if they like the idea of having a nanny but are concerned about cost.

A nanny share is when two families employ the same nanny. There are different ways of structuring it, but the nanny might spend some days with each family individually and other days caring for both families' children together.

I actually worked in a nanny share myself.

I initially worked full-time for one family. Friends of theirs then had a baby and asked whether I could work with their family as well.

I worked four days a week and split my time between the two families. On two of those days, I cared for both babies together. We alternated between the two homes, so one week we might be based at one family's house and the next at the other's.

It worked incredibly well.

The parents were able to share some of the cost of having a nanny, the babies had companionship and socialisation while still receiving very individual care, and I already had a good relationship with the original family.

There is an important point about cost, though. A nanny share doesn't simply mean taking one nanny's normal salary and dividing it in half. Each family is a separate employer and must meet its own legal employment obligations, including paying at least the applicable minimum wage for the hours for which it employs the nanny. The combined hourly pay a nanny receives while caring for both families is therefore often higher than their rate when working for one family alone.

That can make a nanny share genuinely beneficial for everyone: each family can pay less than it would for its own sole-charge nanny, while the nanny can earn more overall for the additional responsibility of caring for children from two families.

There are more logistics involved. Both families need to be comfortable with each other's parenting styles and agree on practical matters such as routines, food, naps, holidays, sickness, location and what happens when one family doesn't need the nanny.

But when the families are well matched, I have seen first-hand just how well it can work.

What about a childminder?

A registered childminder usually provides childcare from their own home, often caring for a small number of children.

For some parents, this offers a really nice middle ground between nursery and employing a nanny.

Your child may experience a smaller, more home-like environment while still spending time with other children, and the cost can be more manageable than having a nanny at home.

Every childminder operates differently, so look carefully at their hours, availability, holidays and daily routine and consider whether these fit with your working life.

Can I work from home while having a nanny?

Absolutely! But having a parent working from home doesn't necessarily mean you need less childcare.

Trying to participate in meetings, answer emails and concentrate properly while simultaneously caring for a baby or toddler is incredibly difficult.

If you're going to work from home while your nanny is there, I recommend discussing boundaries from the beginning.

It can be confusing for a young child if Mum or Dad appears every time they cry and then disappears back into the office five minutes later. It can also make it much harder for the nanny and child to establish their own relationship.

That doesn't mean hiding away from your child all day. A good nanny should be able to work alongside parents and find a routine that suits everyone. It is simply another conversation worth having before the role begins.

Compare the real cost of each childcare option

Budget will understandably be a major part of the decision, but try to compare like with like.

With nursery, look at the number of days you need, the hours included and any additional charges.

With a nanny, consider the gross salary as well as the associated costs of being an employer.

With a nanny share, understand what each family will pay and how the employment arrangement will work.

And consider combinations. You don't necessarily have to choose between five days of nursery and a five-day nanny. Some families use nursery for part of the week and a nanny for the remaining days. Others use grandparents one day, nursery for two and a nanny for two.

There is also a less obvious cost to consider: your time.

A cheaper childcare arrangement isn't necessarily cheaper in practice if one parent regularly has to leave work early, turn down meetings, arrange emergency cover or take unpaid leave because the childcare hours don't fit.

What happens when your child is ill?

This is something I always encourage parents to think about before returning to work, because young children inevitably get ill.

Nurseries and childminders will have policies about when a child can and cannot attend. Make sure you understand them and think about what your backup plan would be.

One advantage of having a nanny is that they will generally still be able to care for a child with an ordinary childhood illness at home. Of course, nannies get ill too, so no childcare arrangement is completely immune from disruption.

A useful question for both parents to answer is:

If our childcare fell through tomorrow morning, what would we actually do?

It is much easier to have that conversation before you're both due in meetings at 9am.

So, which childcare option is best?

There genuinely isn't one.

I've worked with families where nursery was absolutely the right choice. I've worked as a nanny for families whose working lives would have been incredibly difficult without one. I've experienced nanny sharing first-hand, and I've seen families successfully combine several forms of childcare.

What matters is finding the arrangement that suits your child, your careers, your finances and your family life.

Think about your working hours, commute, budget, support network, your child's age and personality, whether you're planning to have more children and how much flexibility you realistically need.

And don't worry too much about what everybody else in your NCT group, friendship group or office seems to be doing.

The right childcare is the childcare that works for your family.

Considering hiring a nanny for the first time?

One thing I would particularly like first-time parents to know is that you don't need to be a celebrity, a VIP or have a fully staffed household to use a nanny agency.

Many of the families I speak to are simply two working parents trying to work out how to balance careers they have worked hard for with having a young family.

And if you've never employed a nanny before, you're not expected to know what salary to offer, what questions to ask at an interview, what checks need to be completed or even exactly what type of nanny you need.

Having spent 15 years working as a nanny before moving into childcare recruitment, I understand this relationship from both sides. Sometimes my first conversation with a parent is simply about understanding their week and talking through what might realistically work.

That might be a full-time nanny. It might be a part-time nanny, a nanny share or a combination of nanny and nursery.

If you're preparing to return to work after maternity, paternity or shared parental leave and would like to understand your options, get in touch with me at Leaman Consulting for an informal conversation about what could work for your family.